有好多天晚上没有好好的睡
或者应该说是不眠的夜晚
有好几次是累到有要晕倒的感觉
有好几次是可以爱睡到在键盘上打字到一半可以睡着
靠的是意志
一直告诉自己不累,不会累
一直告诉自己还有一点,很快可以完成
睡少一点就可以了
那一天,有点撑不住的感觉,手不停的发抖,脚有点站不稳
那是我身体叫我去休息的呼唤
只要事情可以做完,我不介意敖多少个夜晚
还好,当熬夜时,不是一个人的敖,不是一个人默默的赶
我讨厌一个人的夜晚,想念那温暖的家
April 23, 2012
April 18, 2012
--------
i need someone to guide me to the right track
i really do not know how to proceed my works
i tried
but i really no idea on it
what should i do?
who can i say to?
im telling myself, im not tired at all
only myself know me the best
gal, u should be tough
take it easy
keep ur tears and cheers
April 16, 2012
rubbish proposal
people always say time is under your control
time management and planning are important
time constraint is just an excuse
alot of times are putting on that
though it is over and it should be over
but in fact it is not
i did put effort on it
well, may be other people put more than me
feeling sad...abit...when the works need to be upgraded again
i really do not feel like to do it anymore, already put too much of time on it
so now how many sleepless night again? or reduce how many
sleeping hours?
i totally tension...tension to the maximum
tension with the works that i hate, that i really not interested with
in fact, i still have to face it everyday and keep telling myself "u can do it", "u like it"
can i just left it don't upgrade it? it may just a rubbish proposal for all the examiners
i has planned, i planned eveything, planned for my time to meet all the deadlines
planning is nothing without implementation
i know about this
i implemented it and even not dare to go for what i wish to do even just go out for a dinner with the feeling of guilty when it cannot be finished on time
not dare to go home to see my lovely family although i miss them so so much
im not genius and so hope that i am
struggling for thesis and at the same time there are non stop coming tasks
2 more weeks for the draft
but now what is my findings?
i can finish it if and only if i have a sleepless body
if and only if im a robotic human
how i wish there is 48 hours per day
im not giving excuses but i am human
i wish can work non-stop also without the feeling of tiredness
she told me," all these are just the process that u have to go through, take it easy, when u free abit, come back home, i cook something delicious for u"
he told me," no need to worry about us, focus on ur works, the most important is able to graduate"
the little gal told me," i know u very stress, come, i tell u some jokes"
im fighting for them....
April 15, 2012
boring life
last semester
and my life is just too boring
wake up
brush teeth
do my stuffs
go to class
lunch time?
class again maybe
do my stuffs
dinner time?
take bath
continue to do my stuffs
go to sleep
it just like a cycle,everyday it repeating and repeating
it totally not my type and im totally not that type
and it forced me to change
change temporarily
for all the hell of stuffs
the life is dry and dull
i wish to escape everything
i wish to run away
to do something that i really wish to do and im really enjoy with
if im alone
if i do not have any burden
i have no choice to choose which color for my life now
no, there are 3 choices for me, black, white and may be grey
i should believe that what i did today, i will feel grateful on the next days
life is wonderful if i think it is
after 2 months,freedom will come back with me
and i do miss it very much
i feel breathless with the jail
i wish to fly, fly to a far far place
every corner of the world with my footprint
be patient, be hardworking
that are what i should to be
BUT,
i still want to shout
"MY LIFE IS TOO BORING!!!!"
April 12, 2012
催眠
以前熬夜是个习惯
现在熬夜却是折磨
老了
后遗症
头昏脑胀
脸要烂掉
很累
没有终点的累
有人说过
做自己喜欢做的事情从来不会觉得累
我很清楚
由始至终我从来没停止讨厌过
不断的催眠
也有醒来的一天
然而
却没有被允许停下脚步的一天
继续
继续自我催眠吧
题外话
*不喜欢
沉默中的我们*
April 9, 2012
煎熬
假期结束
别人都是这样post在fb
我的假期?
没有回家
没有煲电视剧
没有做过自己想做的事情
四天的沙巴之旅
坦白说
我没有享受到
没有真正大笑到
一直想着回来怎么办
东西做不完怎么办
最近都觉得很冷很冷
很想回家享受那一丝的温暖
很想大睡一觉
醒来时没有内疚感
煎熬
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